


Ms Mary Sue in Section One

by LFN_Archivist



Category: La Femme Nikita
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 10:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFN_Archivist/pseuds/LFN_Archivist
Summary: This story was originally posted to the LFN Storyboard Archives by Shanola.





	Ms Mary Sue in Section One

_Disclaimer: This is a spoof. It is only a spoof. If you can't take the spoof, get out of the powder box...er, whatever.*g* All misspellings are intintshonal. *g* No harm is meant, I promise. This is all in fun. Please feel free to enjoy. And remember....The Spoof Is Out There!*g*_

**Ms Mary Sue in Section One! Part 5**

The heavy metal doors creaked open, then crept closed. The familiar smell of Section One, THE most covert anti-terrorist agency on the planet called Earth, wafted gently to her nose, down her throat, and filled her lungs. 

_Hack, cough!_

She stumbled, leaning against the wall until she got used to the smell. "Gosh-darn cigarette smoke! WHEN will they learn? Smoking can KILL you!" She stood, murmuring aloud, "There's no time like the present" then began her stalk through the gray metal halls. 

She'd been out of Section for a long time. It would be interesting to see if things had changed. As she rounded the corner, she quickly realized that nothing had changed. There was Walter, just as gravelly as ever, talking to a sexy female blonde Operative. And over there was Birkoff, young and still focused on his computers. 

She didn't see Michael anywhere...yet. But it didn't matter. She knew they would cross paths in an explosive reunion. It had always been that way with them in the past. 

Careful to keep her balance on the eight-inch spike-heeled boots, she continued her stalk. As she teetered through the main hub of Section One, THE most covert anti-terrorist agency on the planet, she could feel all eyes turn to watch her. Which, of course, was perfectly normal. 

She pulled out a compact and unfolded the mirror until it was floor length. Then, she propped it against the wall and studied herself carefully. Long, thick mahogany tresses which sometimes gleamed silver when the light was right, greeted her gaze. Her wide, almond-shaped violet-green-blue-brown eyes were framed by impossibly thick lashes. So thick, in fact, that she had to thin them once a month just to keep her eyes open. Her skin was flawless and naturally repulsed dirt. Her chest was large in proportion to her waste, her stomach flat, hips smoothing into lean, firm, fat-free legs that were incredibly long. Folding the mirror up and replacing it within the confines of her bosom, she advanced to the circular room that was the hubcap of Section One. 

She paused, letting them get their fill before she looked up to the office perched above the circular room. Within its glass walls she could see the silver haired man known as Operations and his crony, the ageless Madeline. 

She smiled. Oh, they THOUGHT they could best her, but they were just kidding themselves. 

She, after all, was Mary Sue! 

**MS MS in S1! Part 87a**

"Who was THAT?" Nikita asked Walter as the incredible woman walked through Section. 

"What, Sugar?" Walter looked up and his face softened. "That? Oh, that's my Sorghum Molasses. She's been out of Section for a looooong time." 

"Whaddya mean, out of Section?" Nikita perked up. 

Walter glanced over at her, then back at his Sorghum Molasses, or SM as he liked to call her for short. "Well, not OUT of Section. Just out, working. We don't know what she's been doing. A mission for sure. Something so deadly, so covert, so complicated that only she could succeed. Looks like she has." 

Nikita slumped again. "Oh." 

Walter continued, a fond smile lighting his craggy features, "Yes, my SM sure knows how to handle herself. She's the best Section One has ever had." 

Nikita perked again, "Better than Michael?" 

Walter shot her a hard glance. "Better? That's a close call, Sugar, but I'd have to say....Yes." 

"Really." Nikita was very interested now. 

Looking her way again, Walter frowned. "Listen Sugar, there's something you need to know about SM and Michael....." 

"What?" Nikita asked in alarm. 

"There was a....they have a.... that is....Look, there's a _tension_ there, okay?" Walter stammered out. 

Now Nikita frowned. "A...tension? Oh. I see." There was silence for a moment then Nikita spoke again. "Walter?" 

"Yes?" 

"SM? I mean, I can understand Sugar But SM?" 

Walter's face lit up with lecherous glee, "She's my Sorghum Molasses 'cause she's like Liquid Sugar with a sharp twang, if you know what I mean!" 

**MS MS in S1! Part 3**

Meanwhile, in the glass enclosed perch above the hub of Section One's main floor area, three people stood staring at each other in total silence, without a single word being spoken, or even a conversation remotely taking place in any shape, form, fashion, or sense at all. The intense silence grew. And grew. And stretched. And moaned. And grew some more. Until finally, someone gathered the courage to break the unwavering silence that engulfed them completely, totally, and wholly. 

"ACTION!!!!!!" 

The spell cracked with the tinkle of shattered Fiestaware and Madeline was the first to speak... 

Madeline looked around in alarm. "My Great Granny's Fiestaware!" Madeline exclaimed. She started to stalk off, muttering, "If Christopher has broken another piece...." Her voice faded down the stars, leaving Mary Sue alone with the leader of Section One. 

"I see that you mission was a complete success." Operations casually rolled a cigar between his fingers. 

Mary Sue, her face even and smooth, watched his fingers carefully. "Yes. It was." She lowered her voice to a throaty whisper. "A complete success." 

Operations paused, leaning back on the rail. "What, exactly, was the nature of this successful mission?" 

Mary Sue folded her hands in front of her, a stance she once taught Michael. From what she understood, he was now very fond of that particular stance. In fact, she'd heard stories that he would stand around all day like that, just looking gorgeous enough to die for! 

Abruptly, Mary Sue realized she still hadn't answered Operation's question. Carefully, meticulously, she replied now. "George knows the nature of that mission." 

Suddenly, the tension mounted a white horse and thundered off to rescue a maiden in distress somewhere in a fairy tale. It was obvious from the goggle-eyed look Operations cast her way that he hadn't expected her to have ties with George. 

Mary Sue almost smirked. Let him think on THAT for a while! 

Operations stood and Mary Sue remained standing. Operations moved a step toward her and Mary Sue remained standing. He inclined his head in her direction. Clearly, the victory belonged to Mary Sue. She merely blinked. 

"You have some downtime coming." He presented it as a statement but Mary Sue also knew it was just a convenient statement. 

"Yes." She was careful to keep her sentences short. Just like she'd taught Michael to do. 

Operations nodded. 

"CUT!!!!!!!" 

They both jumped at the sound of the disembodied voice. Operations shook his head, then turned his back to her, muttering under his breath. Mary Sue, for her part, moved out of the way of the incoming camera and set designers and left. 

**MS MS in S1! Whoa! Sorry this one's so short...**

Click, click, click! Mary Sue's high hills landed with precision on the tiny grate that comprised a large part of Section One's flooring. Every time she strutted across it, she was ecstatic that she had superb coordination. Otherwise, her heel would snag in the spaces between the grate and cause her land flat on her a$$! But that would never happen and Mary Sue was ecstatic. 

She had navigated to the concrete floor beneath the perch and was on her to see Walter when Birkoff's voice caused everyone to jump to a standstill. 

"No!" the young computer genius shouted and tugged at his buzz cut. 

Mary Sue curiously made her way over to Comm. A tall, blonde operative dressed in black and wearing a WAY too tight skirt joined her. Mary Sue lifted an eyebrow at the blonde, then turned her attention back to the desperate Birkoff. 

"What's up, Birkoff?" Mary Sue asked. 

"We've got a B-type anomaly in Sector 7, Grid 18, Nodule 36." 

Mary Sue nodded, a frown marring her perfect features. 

"What's a B-whatever?" It was the blonde operative. 

Mary Sue looked at her. "You must be Nikita," she said calmly. 

Nikita gave a brief nod. Mary Sue turned her attention back to Comm. 

Birkoff was scurrying around, rolling from one screen to another as he tried to contain the situation. Mary Sue watched for a moment. She was supposed to be off....but Birkoff's forlorn expression, not to mention the soon-to-heartbroken-blonde gawking at her, spurred Mary Sue into action. 

With a resigned sigh, Mary Sue moved in. "Move over, Birkoff. I'll take care of it." 

"But, you've been out of Section for-!" Birkoff started to protest. 

Mary Sue waved him away, "I like to keep my Macintosh up to date. How different do you really think this is?" 

Birkoff stood next to Nikita and watched as Mary Sue let her fingers fly over the keys. A minute passed. Then another. But not a third! 

Mary Sue stood and stretched, yawning. 

Birkoff stared then ran up next to her and blurted, "What did you do?!? That was AMAZING!!" 

Mary Sue smiled. "What? Oh, that? That was nothing. But let me tell you. First, I patched the 568742, then I 145215 the 1258jfheui." 

"Oh," Birkoff said. "That made the xZqart254878951 become a 145785, right?" 

"14577! 256854798." Mary Sue replied. 

"524KL521. 98752146325!" Birkoff said. 

Nikita watched for a minute, until her eyes glazed over. She was headed back to Walter's station when a strange voice came over the intercom. 

It was in a foreign language so she couldn't understand what it said, but from the way it made everyone tense up, it must be pretty bad. Even Operations was standing in alarm in his birdcage...uh, perch. 

Mary Sue listened with great interest. THIS could ruin her day off, she thought. 

Birkoff closed his eyes. What now? He wondered. WHY now? He wondered again. 

Operations stared at the floor way beneath his glass house and decided to never throw rocks. 

Madeline cursed yet another broken teacup. 

And I'm wondering why I'm writing this....Doh! Oops! Uh....never mind. =D 

ANYWAY, Mary Sue looked over to where Nikita was standing. She was sure the blonde operative had moved, but she had come right back to the same place with the same lost expression on her face. I'll bet, Mary Sue thought, that Nikita doesn't speak Redneck English very well and probably doesn't understand what the voice just said. 

Nikita didn't disappoint her. "What's going on?" the blonde operative asked. 

Mary Sue smiled at the poor girl. "I'll explain later." 

The voice continued. Mary Sue half listened as she looked around the room. "Hey!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Where is Michael? I want him to come stand next to me so we can look stunning together !" 

Everyone looked around, but Michael was nowhere to be found. 

"Have you looked in his office?" Birkoff asked. 

"Yep. He's not there." Nikita answered. 

"How about the White Room?" Walter piped up. 

"Nah. He only goes there when he wants to look good in white. He's much more into black these days." Davenport answered. 

"Have you checked the closet?" Operations demanded. 

"Closet?" All eyes turned to the perch. 

Operations looked exasperated. "He HATES Redneck, you know. He once had to try and teach French to a class of native speaking Rednecks. I thought we might lose him on that mission...." Operation's voice trailed off, letting the horror of what Michael had suffered sink into the operatives below. 

After moment of silence, Davenport said, "I'll, uh, go check the closets...." Then fled. 

"GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" The angry voice over the intercom system snapped everyone back to attention. 

"Well, THAT's not an authorized channel, for sure." Birkoff said. 

"taH pagh taHbe! Dah Mu't Lheghvam vIqelnIS. quv'a', yab Daq San vaQ cha, pa' je SIQD'?" the angry voice shouted. 

"Huh?" a collective question rose from the gathered operatives. 

"pah, Seng bIQ'a' Hey Summet nu Hmey SuqDI', 'eg, Suvmo', rInmoHDI'?" This time, the voice was Mary Sue's. 

"Hegh. Qong-Qong NeH-'ej QongDI', tIq 'oy', wa 'SanID Daw"e' je" the angry voice replied. 

"Hmm....cho'nISbogh porghDaj rInmoHlaH net Har." Mary Sue answered again. 

The intercom snapped off with an audible 'qurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' sound. 

"Mary Sue!" Operations demanded. "What was that?!?" 

Mary Sue stood straight and tall (as if she couldn't stand tall in eight inch heels!), and turned to face the perch. "That, Sir, Was Klingon*." 

"Klingon?" 

"Klingon. Yes, Sir." 

"And What Did This Klingon Say?" Operations asked. 

"It Said, 'taH pagh taHbe! DaH-'" 

"What Did It MEAN, Mary Sue!" Operations interrupted. 

"Oh. It Meant, 'I Have Something You Want. It's Name Is Michael. Come And Get It.'" 

"Hmm...I See."Operations said. "Mary Sue?" 

"Yes Sir." She replied. 

"Why Are All Our Words Beginning With Capital Letters?" 

"Well, I Think It's Because The Writer Is A Bit Overstressed....STOP IT!!!!" Mary Sue suddenly screamed. "There. I think that did the trick." 

Operations nodded. "My office, Mary Sue. Now." 

*This is really Kingon. I did not make it up. It came from a book called The Klingon Hamlet. It's Shakespeare. No joke. Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1. Starts "To be or not to be..."*g* 

**MS MS in S1! Part 5,257**

Nikita watched as Mary Sue clicked and clacked her way up to Operations office. She leaned on Walter's worktable and waited for Mary Sue to appear in the window. Operations paced back and forth until Madeline joined him, followed by Mary Sue. Nikita pursed her lips as they started talking. Narrowing her eyes, she began to read their body language, a trick she had conveniently learned form hanging around Michael so much.... 

Operations to Madeline: "What now?" 

Madeline to Operations: "Yes." No wait. That couldn't be right. Nikita looked again, "We wait until we have a location." 

Mary Sue: "I look SOOO good next to Michael. It'd be a real shame to lose him now...." 

Nikita prickled. She just couldn't bring herself to like Mary Sue for some reason. 

Operations: "Do we have a location?" 

Madeline: "Birkoff's working on that now and I need to water my plants so I hope he hurries." 

Nikita blinked. Ooookay. Plants. Right. 

Mary Sue: "Have him concentrate on the Seventh Continent. I have a feeling they are there." 

Operations: "Seventh Continent?" 

Madeline: "DUH! She means Australia!" 

Operations: "Oh. Oz. Say, don't we have an operative and a half down there?" 

Madeline: "No. Kiwi and Kiwibabe are in New Zealand." 

Operations: "Same difference." 

Mary Sue: "There's a huge difference!" 

Operations: "Oh really? What would that be?" 

Mary Sue: "Kiwi is in _New Zealand_ and Michael is in _Australia_." 

Operations: "Hmm.....I see. Okay. Mary Sue, put together a team. And include Nikita. This is her show after all. She should be included a little." 

Mary Sue: "Shrug." 

**MS MS in S1! In which the dish and the spoon go for a midnight stroll...**

Nikita and Mary Sue looked over the translation Mary Sue had made of the earlier message. They were in a plane on their way to Rescue Michael. 

Nikita frowned at Mary Sue. "They said all that in just a few words?" 

Mary Sue answered, her eyes intent on the map in front of her, "They did. Klingon is an odd language. They made it quite plain that they will kill Michael within four hours if we don't get there first." 

Nikita stiffened, "Four hours? But we are on the other side of the world! How are we going to make it there in four hours?" 

Mary Sue took a deep breath before carefully answering. "We will make because, One, this is your show. But more importantly, we'll make it because I'm _Mary Sue_." 

Nikita frowned harshly. Mary Sue ignored the blonde operative and turned to the map again. 

Nikita studied Mary Sue, somewhat curious. Everyone seemed to like her, but Nikita couldn't figure out why, exactly. There seemed to be some sort of history between Mary Sue and Michael and Nikita didn't know what to make of it. Knowing the timing was probably bad, but also knowing that had never stopped her before, Nikita asked Mary Sue a question. 

"Did you know Simone?" 

Mary Sue looked at Nikita, then away again before answering. "Sure, I knew her. She was Obsessed with Michael for a long time." 

"Simone was obsessed with Michael?" Nikita was really curious now. 

Mary Sue abandoned the map and turned to chat with Nikita. "Sure. He showed her a little bit of Charity then they fell in Love." 

"Is that why Section got rid of her?" 

Mary Sue cocked her head thoughtfully. "I don't think so. They thought Simone would try to Escape, which of course would be considered Treason. They don't like that Gray type of Choice, you know?" 

Nikita looked at the floor. "I know. All too well. So what was the Verdict?" 

"Innocent, of course." Mary Sue answered after a moment. "But that didn't stop them, did it?" 

Nikita shook her head. "They showed no Mercy toward her at all, Mary Sue. I saw her, you know. When I was just out of being a new Recruit. He lost her again, then. It was hard to watch." 

Mary Sue patted Nikita on the back. "I heard all the Noise about that incident. Poor Michael. He was SO Missing her at first. I almost wished they would just Brainwash him to make him forget but they can't do that to Michael. They need all his knowledge in case of a War." 

Nikita shuddered and covered her face with her hands. 

"What?" Mary Sue moved closer. "What did I say?" 

"The War with Red Cell. Michael and I were in a cage....." Nikita choked out. 

Mary Sue gave the blond operative a little hug. "Let the Voices go, Nikita. I remember how it was in the beginning: Madeline trying to act like your Mother one minute and your worst enemy the next. Just forget about all that and concentrate on this Gambit to save Michael." 

Nikita sniffed, then looked at Mary Sue with teary eyes. "You're a good Friend, Mary Sue. Thanks." 

Mary Sue handed Nikita a hanky. "Now, lets go in and kick some serious a$$, Nikita! Our flight is over, it's time to rock and roll!" 

Nikita smiled as Mary Sue whisked herself away. She had finally found a true blue friend in Section One. Happier than she'd ever been, Nikita followed. 

**MS MS in S1! Part III/IXXXX**

"Birkoff, are you holding back on us?" Mary Sue stood in the mission van facing the young computer genius. 

"W-w-what do you mean?" Birkoff stammered, tugging at his hair. 

"I mean," Mary Sue leaned in close. Her shirt gaped away, revealing her large C-cups to Birkoff's rather adolescent gaze. She was wearing tiny scraps of lace for support. Birkoff gulped as all thought raced from his head to his...to his...well, _down there_. 

"What?" Birkoff managed to ask again, as Mary Sue stood. 

"I _said_ that you seem to know more about this than you are telling us!" Mary Sue crossed her arms, pushing her breasts together. 

Birkoff felt his mouth go dry. Oh _man_ was she hot! What he would DO to get to his hands on her excellent body... 

"Well, Birkoff? I'm waiting." 

Had her voice gone all husky like because she was whispering? Birkoff suddenly didn't care. She was leaning down again, revealing those.... _jiggling_ scraps of lace! Was that?? Ohmygod! It _was_! It was a flash of _pink_!! He could feel her luscious lips next to his ear, her hot breath blowing against his cheek. 

"Thank you, Birkoff" 

Then she was standing, the distance between them vast and uncrossable. What had just happened? He blinked, then found his voice. "Mary Sue?" he croaked. 

"Hmmm, Birkoff?" She replied over her shoulder. 

"What....what just happened?" Birkoff could feel his eyes go round. 

"Why Birkoff. Nothing just happened. You just told me that Operations and Madeline have known where Michael was since this started. They set him up in a vain effort to smash the bonds between him and Nikita. Again." 

"Oh." Was all he managed to say. 

**MS MS in S1! Part 0**

Nikita watched Mary Sue seduce the desired intel out of Birkoff as she strapped on her guns. They were at the location where Michael was being held hostage maybe even tortured. Grabbing another grenade, Nikita silently laughed to herself at the besotted look on Birkoff's face. Nikita rememberd all that Madelaine had taught her about using her body to get what she wanted, but darn it! It was difficult to do with an A-cup! Mary Sue sure was lucky. 

"Ready?" Mary Sue stopped before her, guns and ammo wrapped around her black clad body like a glove. 

Nikita stood and slammed a cartridge into her gun. "Let's do it." 

Birkoff watched as they poured from the van. If he were lucky, maybe one day those two could come rescue _him_! 

**MS MS in S1! Part -10**

Michael stared grimly into the shadows, sweating. His hands were bound above his head as were his feet. Bound, that is, but not above his head. They were chained to the floor instead. And he was undergoing one of the most painful torture sessions ever inflicted on a human... 

"Ef you look theese way, I vill demon straight de fabulous Bunny." 

Michael squinted and cocked his head to the side. This way, he could actually see the bunny in the shadow the Man with a Thousand Accents cast onto the wall with his hands. 

"Yu gotta hold that thar flashlight steel, Bubba. Mah figures git all lost and foozled up when ya shake it like that!" His anger was apparent and Michael groaned as the dreaded Redneck spouted forth. The man continued, his slicked back pompadour splattering grease onto the wall as it bobbed above his eyes. "Don'chew MAKE me cum over THAR, Bubba!" 

Michael glanced at Bubba as he tried to hold the flashlight still. Bubba was dressed in overalls with no shirt underneath. Michael couldn't be sure because of the Redman hat he was wearing, but he thought Bubba might actually have a better haircut than the man making hand shadows. Of course, he had less teeth, but Michael refused to dwell on that. Bubba's teeth, both of them, were so yellow and black that he just...couldn't....with a shudder, Michael turned his attention back to the shadow show. 

"Looky, looky! Guess who this is!" The man formed an odd shape with his hands. Michael squinted again, and cocked his head, but he couldn't make out the shape. Flustered, the man stamped his foot. In a British accent he asked, "Shall I give you a hint? Bloody hell, you Frenchies are all the same!" He formed his hands again, then hunched over in a creepy manner. 

"I Vant To Suck Your BLUUUUUUUD!" he said. 

Michael cringed, then made himself guess. "Dracula?" he whispered. 

Beside him, Bubba made grunting noises of pleasure and began to shake. Michael was beginning to panic when he realized Bobby was only laughing, sending the flashlight whizzing all over the wall. The Man with a Thousand Accents stood and glared as Bubba dropped the flashlight to clap his meaty hands together. 

"GAWD DARNIT BUBBA! Vat haf I TOL you about doin' that? And VWHY aren't you VEARING a shirt? Go and put vone on!" 

Bubba cowered and then scampered across the room, his bare, callused feet splashing in the grimy floor. He returned a few minutes later, the thick carpet of hair on his back hanging over the neck of the stained and torn wifebeater tank top he now wore under his overalls. 

The Man with a Thousand Accents approached Michael slowly. "So. You. Think. This. Is. Funny?" 

Michael stared hard at him, trying to figure out what the accent was and why he was speaking in such short pieces. 

"I-" 

Suddenly, the sound of gunfire erupted into the night. Things happened quickly after that and Michael wasn't sure what order they occurred in. He did feel the excruciating pain as the paper the Man with a Thousand Accents slid down his side, leaving a nasty cut. And he saw Nikita and some other chick smash through the door, guns blaring. His last thought before darkness engulfed him was "Did I turn the stove off before I left??" 

**MS MS in S1! Part! the 18!**

Mary Sue saw Michael hanging from the ceiling. His chest was bare, a scarlet flow of blood streaming down from a huge paper cut in his side. A strange man with a terrible haircut stood a sheet of paper Beside her, Nikita was kicking the hell out of some guy dressed only in overalls and a dingy white tank top. 

"Drop your gun!!!!" Mary Sue shouted! 

The man with the greasy hair dropped his gun and fell to his knees! Mary Sue ran over and kicked the gun away from him! When she had the target secured, she turned to help Nikita! 

Nikita did not need her help! She had the big man down! As Mary Sue watched, Nikita grabbed him by the thick hair on his back and slammed him against the wall with a solid 'thunk'! He was out cold! 

Nikita walked over to Mary Sue! Together they turned to Michael! He was bleeding lots and lots! Blood was everywhere! All over his mission pants, his chest, and it was getting all over them as Mary Sue held him and Nikita cut him down! 

"Birkoff, we've secured the area! We are coming in!" 

"Any fatalities?!!" Birkoff asked! 

"No, but we have two prisoners, "Mary Sue replied! 

"Okay!" Birkoff said! 

Mary Sue turned to Nikita! "Where's Davenport when we need him?!" 

Nikita looked thoughtful! "I think he's still checking closets," she replied! 

"Closets?" Mary Sue asked! 

"Do you know how many closets are in Section?" Nikita said! 

"Oh yeah!" Mary Sue replied! 

**MS MS in S1! Part 3.14159**

Silence rained in the mission van as Mary Sue and Nikita loaded the limp form of Michael on a stretcher. The rest of the team was soon drenched in the silence and it began to run down their faces and drip from their noses. Of course, it made no sound as it splashed on the floor of the van. It was silence, after all. 

Finally, the storm of silence dissipated, leaving the occupants quiet and twitchy. Nikita's began to murmur to the injured Michael, now that she could be heard. 

"Eeny, Meany, Miney, Moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he holler's make him pay. Fifty dollars every day. My. Mommy. Told. Me. To. Pick. The. Very. Best. One. And. You. Are. Not. It." 

Mary Sue blinked and frowned at Nikita. "Are you sure that's what he needs to hear right now, Nikita?" 

It was Nikita's turn to blink. "Oh" she said, "You may have a point." She turned back to Michael's unconscious form. "Never mind!" She sang out. 

Mary Sue stroked Michael's face. "Hang in there, luv. We'll get you through this." 

Nikita watched as Michael moaned and moved his head toward Mary Sue's touch. 

"There is something between you two, isn't there?" she timidly asked. 

Mary Sue looked sharply up, uncertain how to respond. "I've known him a long time, Nikita. Since before he was born." 

"Huh?" 

Mary Sue shook her head, "You wouldn't understand." 

Nikita looked back at Michael. "There is so much I don't understand" she whispered. 

"He's stable, Nikita. He'll be okay." Mary Sue took Nikita's hand in her own and squeezed gently. 

Nikita gazed into Mary Sue's luminous eye-orbs. "It's not that, Mary Sue," she said, "I was trying to remember how to figure the circumference of a circle." 

Mary Sue nodded wisely. "That was always hard for me, too." 

**MS MS in S1! WARNING!! WARNING!!! NC-1777 ALERT!!!!**

Madeline stalked around the man strapped to the metal chair in the circular White Room. 

"Eef you don't stop, I vill HEAVE on a bush....." he gasped. 

Madeline smiled. And continued to circle him. Just like the game where you put your head on a bat and spin ten times before trying to run back to the next person in line. 

"How did you find out about us?" Madeline paused, waiting for an answer. 

"I....I....don't know. I was just, you know...doing the evil twin thing somewhere when BAM! I was suddenly making hand shadows at your guy." He quivered, his hair dripping grease from the tip of the pompadour. 

Madeline unbuttoned her top, revealing creamy breasts to his stupefied gaze. She moved closer, closer, closer. Then trailed her hands down his strong, manly chest until they found the button on his pants. Slowly, slowly, slowly, she unfastened the button, then lowered the zipper. 

He was sweating now, as her hands took him out. Wide eyed, he looked into her chocolate eyes. "Wh-what are you doing?" 

Madeline smiled. "You have to ask? Poor man." She got down on her knees. 

He shook his head (not THAT head! Geez!) and tried to speak again. "I meant, WHY are you doing this?" 

Madeline frowned. "I don't know, exactly. But when I find out, I will have a few words with the author. Trust me." 

He nodded, terrified. 

Madeline looked over shoulder as the door creaked open and two, uh, people stood there. She motioned them in then turned her gaze back to the Man with a Thousand Accents and grinned as she issued her final orders. 

"Bring me the Electrolux*...." 

*please note that Electrolux is a type of VACCUUM cleaner, okay? 

**MS MS in S1! NEW, NEW, NEW!!!!!**

Mary Sue and Nikita stood above the surgery room of Section One. Down below, where the surgeons worked, they could actually SEE Michael's guts.... 

"I always wondered what made him tick," Nikita said. "And now I guess I know....a heart and lungs, just like the rest of us...." 

Mary Sue nodded, then turned Nikita's face away from the sight. "He'll be okay, Nikita." 

Just then, the monitors all went flat with a squeal. Nikita gasped as the surgeons began to run around in little circles, hopping from one foot the other. 

"DAMMIT!!!" Mary Sue yelled! "I TOLD Madeline not to us Pavlov's training on the surgeons! Now they have to take a potty break every time a monitor squeals! I knew something like this might happen!" 

"Are they gonna lose him?" Nikita sobbed, watching the surgeons hold themselves as they formed a line to go the potty rooms. 

Mary Sue turned to her, her face determined. "Not if I can help it!" Then she stalked into the operating room, reaching for the tray of instruments. 

In amazement, Nikita watched as Mary Sue single handedly operated on Michael, saving his life. With the other hand, she freshened her make-up. When she finished, Nikita couldn't even see the stitches. OR a foundation line! 

**MS MS in S1! Part 1**

Five days later..... 

Michael sat in his bed in Med Lab. Nikita was talking to him about Mary Sue and how great she was. He frowned and wondered if Nikita knew about him and Mary Sue. 

"Nikita-" he tried to interrupt her. 

"And THEN, she whipped out her lipstick and put it on in _one motion_! It was just amazing, Michael!" Nikita babbled. 

"Nikita, I really think we should talk about Mary Sue..." 

"What about Mary Sue?" a new voice asked from the door. 

Nikita and Michael looked up, delight on their faces as Mary Sue sauntered across the room to join them. 

"Michael." She said, then leaned across Nikita to kiss him deeply. Nikita quit babbling. Michael looked guiltily at her. 

"Nikita, I-" he began, but Mary Sue cut him off. 

"It's okay, Michael. She knows about us." Mary Sue stated softly. 

Michael looked into Nikita's blue orbs. "You understand? I mean, Mary Sue is just.....special. It doesn't change how I feel about you, though." He stated quietly. 

"Michael," Nikita smiled tremulously, "I understand perfectly." She slid from her perch beside his bed, her hand trailing from his as she made her way to the door. 

Michael watched her for a second, then turned his eyes to Mary Sue. "Thank you. It's good to see you again. I've missed you." 

Mary Sue smiled and kissed him again. "My pleasure, Michael. Believe me. I've missed you too." 

"Will you be staying long this time?" He asked when they had come up for air after another slew of tongue wrestling. 

Mary Sue sighed. "I'm afraid not. I probably won't be gone as long this next time, now that I've found you again. But I have other worlds to invade, other missions to fix." She turned to Michael. "Did you know I found some X-Files fan fiction that doesn't have me in it? That is unacceptable." 

Michael nodded. "Yes. Trust no one....except Mary Sue." 

"Mary Sue?" Nikita pokes her head in the door. "Sorry to bother you Michael, but I need to ask Mary Sue something." 

Michael nods as Mary Sue half turns to Nikita. 

"Did you want satin or silk sheets on the bed tonight?" Nikita asks dreamily. 

Mary Sue pauses. "What did we use last night? Satin?" As Nikita's nods, Mary Sue continues, "Lets try the silk again, then. Oh wait! Do you have any made from that T-shirt material?" 

Nikita nods happily. "Oh. And will you be much longer? I'm about ready to go home." 

Mary Sue stands. "Be right there" she smiles. 

Michael looks on in shock as the Nikita disappears through the door. He looks at Mary Sue, at where she's holding his hand. Speechless, he says, "You are staying with Nikita?" 

Mary Sue smiles and nods then leans down and kisses him again, her tongue pinning his for the victory. "Yes, I am." 

Michael frowns. "Mary Sue...Nikita only has one bed in her apartment." 

"I know. And it's very comfortable, too." Mary Sue smiles knowingly. 

Michael's eyes bulge from his head as Mary Sue starts to walk away. In a strangled voice, he calls her name. 

"Muuuuuuureeeeee Suuuuuuuuueeeeeeee" 

She stops and turns back to him. "Oh Michael. You know you'll always be special to me. Just as you and Nikita will always have something. Besides, I know it doesn't really bother you that Nikita and I are together. It's a change, sure. Usually, she's the one left out while I'm with you. But I knew it wouldn't _really_ bother you." 

Michael clears his throat, "Why? Because you're Mary Sue?" 

Mary Sue looks over her shoulder. "No, silly. Because you're a _man_. And you are free to join us once you are 'up'." With those parting words, Mary Sue stalks out. 

Michael stares after her, then tosses the covers back, and falls to his knees. 

"Thank god for Mary Sue!" he cries, then rises to follow them out of Section One.


End file.
